By Daniel Perez-Crouse
“Difficult and worthy are not mutually exclusive—they are often intertwined.” Longtime Portland resident, non-profit founder, speaker and author Jillana Goble makes this statement near the beginning of her recent memoir, A Love-Stretched Life.
It is a compilation of stories that chronicle Gobel’s journey as a mother via foster care, birth and adoption, showing all the sobering trials, tribulations, immeasurable joys and invaluable lessons therein. From her early days teaching at an orphanage in Guatemala to nearly decades of experience in the foster care system, Goble interweaves personal stories with insight into ideas of intentionality, attachment, acceptance and more.
“This is a memoir about family and the many ways families are formed, look and change,” said Goble.
Goble had already written No Sugar Coating in 2019—a book with practical suggestions and insight for prospective foster parents. “This is a more personal book,” said Goble.
Goble journaled in the past on the pivotal experiences of her life in the last 20 years and was “super glad” she did because it allowed some of the details and nuances of her memories to “come alive,” she said. “At the end of the day, this was something I wanted to remember. It allowed me to go in and rebuild on the actual way things went down.”
Goble said the initial writing of the memoir was just a straightforward account and that her publisher offered feedback on how to better engage readers. “You write it in ways that you can break your life into themes of things that you’ve learned or invited to re-learn. Like, what are those things that are more universal to a lot of people? It was a stretching exercise for me. That’s not how most of us think; the themes of our lives. It helped me process and make sense of my own story.” Goble also wanted to be cognizant of the degree she shared or used the stories of others. “I didn’t want to overshare my kids’ stories, that’s always a tricky line to walk.”
The memoir was released in 2022 and written in the early days of the pandemic. Goble said that since it was birthed during isolation, it has been gratifying to see people’s reactions and resonance with the book. She is especially grateful for the opportunity through the book to travel the country and present at conferences and events alongside Jennifer, the biological mother of one of Goble’s adoptive children she’s maintained a relationship with and now considers a member of the family (she and her child are prominently featured throughout the memoir).“I am so proud of Jennifer and feel like people are in awe of her story,” said Goble.
She said voices like Jennifer’s are almost nonexistent at the conferences and events she speaks at. “It’s just such a joy through A Love-Stretched Life to have a platform where people can hear her voice. She has this raw honesty that draws people to her. She bears her soul and talks about a lot of her life. A lot of families draw hope from her.”
Goble not only has experience in foster parenting and advocating for it, but she also founded the non-profit Every Child Oregon. “The paradigm in Oregon before Every Child was to become a foster parent or do nothing. 98 percent of us are never going to end up a foster parent. So we just say ‘do nothing’ to all these well-intentioned people that are willing to help. There are other opportunities.” The organization, as stated on its website, “mobilizes community to uplift children and families impacted by foster care in Oregon” and has a bevy of resources and options for those who want to support children and parents in the foster system (Oregon has recently changed its language to “resource parent”).
While Goble has spent much of her time in recent years extolling the importance of foster parenting and supporting those who are a part of it, she recognizes the prescient need and relevance of it in Portland instead of its recent struggles. “When you move upstream from any hot button social issue, be it addiction, homelessness, incarceration or domestic violence, untreated mental illness, you ask what happens when individuals suffering acutely from these things have children and there is nobody else to care for their children. The answer is not a mystery. The answer is foster care.”
Goble notes in relation to this, that while her memoir is about foster care and adoption, it also has a lot to do with how we allow ourselves to be changed by the proximity of people who have really different stories than us. “Driving around or walking around beautiful SE Portland, I think all of us have an invitation to ask, do we believe as long as there’s breath, there’s hope? If we do, that changes our outlook for those around us who are clearly suffering.”
A Love-Stretched Life is currently available online and can be found at Powell’s. Additional information about Goble and ways to purchase can be found at jillana-goble.com. For more information on how you can help kids and families impacted by foster care, head to everychildoregon.org.
Author Jillana Goble
