Guidance for Couples

Heart Disease is the biggest killer in America. Although often blamed on bad diet and lack of exercise, there are studies that show the disintegration of family structure has more impact on the health of the heart than food and movement.

Statistics show that nearly 50% of marriages in the US will end in divorce. This dismal forecast does not even account for all the other non-registered domestic partnerships dissolving. The stress of sick and dying relationships causes untold havoc on our communities, our workplaces, and of course our children.

So, why is it so hard to stay together? We enter relationships full of love, hope, happiness, and sometimes leave them bitter, hurt, and heartbroken. Is it because our partners are really gremlins in disguise as human beings and their make-up comes off the more they’re kissed? Is it because we are really incoherent trying to be good-hearted people?

Neither! We live in a very stressful time in human history, and there are few support systems available to nourish the Central Heart of a couple.

The Central Heart is the energy circuit shared by two individuals.When two people live closely together, their energy fields and biorhythms start to enter into coherence, i.e. harmonize. The more time spent together, and the more accepting we are of each other, the greater our energetic coherence, which we experience as Love.

If you put a pair of lovers in the thick of modern society, then add financial insecurity, one or two children, the death of a friend or relative, a mean boss, bad traffic, and lack of sleep, then you get lots of disturbances in the personal and collective energy field. Over time, these disturbances may become stagnating and can be felt as profound frustration, fear, bitterness, heaviness, and a tendency to blame the partner for the entire situation.

So what do we do when the love that was once there is scrambled by a motley mix of personal and collective grief?

Here’s a few possibilities: (1) Get some personal help. Take a hike, call an old friend, get yourself some personal healing sessions or go on a retreat to recharge. (2) Get some collective help. See a Couples Counselor. Take some Non-Violent Communication Classes. Get some Couples Acupuncture.

Couples Counselors can help tease apart the mental patterns that beloveds (amidst the nitty-gritty of life) can often fall into. A counselor can give those well-practiced third party ah-ha’s that ones inside the situation can’t see.

Non Violent Communication (NVC) classes can retrain the ways we express ourselves and enhance our ability to listen to the needs and feelings of our partners. Practicing NVC can create more empathy and understanding in a relationship, which alone can resolve years of conflict.

Couples Acupuncture is the newest kid on the block. Based in Classical Chinese Medicine, Couples Acupuncture smoothes kinks in the personal and collective energy field of a couple.

Using needles and gently harmonizing body-work, sessions balance the subtle circuits (meridians) so that the enlivening energy (qi) that flows through and between a couple is unhindered by the emotional grips and deep settled stresses that can accumulate over time.

A session can rebalance biorhythms, retune disordered energy, and put couples back into states of natural coherence. It is a true recharge for all three beings in a relationship: the two individuals and the Central Heart they share.

If you find your relationship stuck in old habits and the record player keeps skipping and playing the same weary tune, try some of these methods to shake things up. Set the current a little differently, and push the Refresh button on your relationship. Your family will thank you for it!

Axi Tristan Codrescu can be reached at 971.678.6839 or www.openfieldacupuncture.com .