My main goal, as a yoga therapist, somatics educator and Positive Neuroplasticity teacher, is to help people get out of their heads, into their bodies and anchored into the present moment more frequently until it becomes a good habit. This is because the majority of people, including myself for too long, endlessly waste time worrying, ruminating, feeling depressed or anxious or both, while blind to the goodness that is all around.
Unless you are in a situation where your survival is at risk, you should have some capacity to experience positive moments every day. Please understand that there is a difference between having a positive experience and really taking it in to become a part of you. Negative experiences are quite powerful, easily overwhelming positive ones, but you can learn to take positive experiences and turn them into lasting traits inside of you, effectively filling your cup for those inevitable “rainy days.” But first, let’s take a look at some barriers that prevent you from living the full human experience.
Monkey Mind
The mind typically ping pongs from ruminating on the past to worrying about the future, comparing yourself with others and grasping at what you want while resisting what you don’t want, rarely resting on what is present right in front of you.
Feeling Unworthy
Feeling unworthy of enjoying life can inhibit you from experiencing joy, love and goodness.
Perfectionism
Striving for perfection leads to a hyper-focus on flaws or failure, making it hard to fully embrace positive experiences.
Bad Habits and Addictions (including technology)
When discomfort arises, it is common to engage in some form of escape to resist feeling any pain. The pleasure of this escape is fleeting. It doesn’t last. Not only that, you’ll need increasing amounts to get any type of pleasure as you continue.
Toxic Social Environment
Being in a toxic environment can overwhelm what’s good, sweet or beautiful.
Physical Discomfort or Pain
Experiencing physical discomfort, pain or illness can divert attention away from the possibility of feeling good.
Unresolved Emotional Issues
Lingering emotional issues, such as trauma or unresolved conflicts, can interfere with the ability to be present and take in what’s beneficial.
Excessive Busyness
Overwhelming schedules, multitasking and constant busyness can prevent individuals from slowing down and being present for the good moments.
Lack of Self-Compassion
Difficulty offering oneself kindness, self-care and self-compassion can hinder the ability to fully take in the good.
Being in Survival Mode
When struggling with life basics (putting food on the table, paying rent, keeping the lights on, getting to work), sheer exhaustion can make it difficult to experience what’s nourishing.
We have some control over some of these issues while others are issues that require additional support or resources in order to come to a place of stability and therefore a place to be able to receive positive experiences.
What are the benefits of reducing these barriers? It seems counter-intuitive but to be able to accept and feel pain or discomfort without rejecting, denying, escaping or suppressing it allows us to experience the fullness of a 360-degree life. Instinctively, we want to protect ourselves and our loved ones from pain, but these are normal painful experiences that everyone goes through just simply by being human. Learning the skills to deal with these painful experiences will help you move through them more quickly and with less resistance. It’s the resistance and suppression of these feelings that can cause prolonged pain and suffering.
As you learn to face your pain or discomfort with more patience toward the process, kindness towards yourself, acceptance of reality and the knowing that you are not alone, you become more stable, flexible and adaptable. Eventually you’ll be able to have gratitude for ALL experiences of being human. Pain becomes more bittersweet than just bitter because it is an essential part of being human.
Our brains have evolved so that we have a neocortex, the executive part of the brain, that we can use to direct the mind towards things that are more beneficial, more helpful, more loving, more inclusive, more wholesome. We can receive things in the present moment that are little life gifts–gifts of connection (making warm eye contact with a loved one or stranger or opening the door for someone with arms full), gifts of beauty (a vibrant pink dogwood in the spring, the joy of a dog rubbing its back on the ground, the colorful murals of talented artists), gifts of running water or snowflakes falling or a the sweetness of a seasonal Hood strawberry.
I hope that this sparks something inside of you so that you can see a glimpse of something different. For those that need additional help achieving a 360-degree life, I encourage you to find the resources to help you do this. You don’t have to do it alone!
Stacey Royce
Subtle Body Experience
subtlebodyexperience.com
503.258.7790
Editor’s note: Wellness Word is an informational column which is not meant to replace a healthcare professional’s diagnosis, treatment or medication.