When it comes to support for LGBTQ individuals, we have made significant progress in the last couple of decades. It is a much safer and more supportive world for queer people than it was just a short time ago. LGBTQ youth are able to come out much earlier than they did before, giving them a stronger start on the road to self-acceptance and self-care.
The work, however, is not done because LGBTQ youth are still at greater risk for mental health issues than their heterosexual counterparts. The American Psychiatric Association found that “LGBTQ individuals are 2.5 times more likely to experience depression, anxiety and substance misuse compared with heterosexual individuals.”
In their 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, the Trevor Project found that 45 percent of queer youth considered suicide in the last year. Trans youth in particular were at an even greater risk for anxiety, depression and suicide. However, the Trevor Project also found that LGBTQ youth who experienced high levels of support from their families and school systems were less than half as likely to attempt suicide than those who did not.
This means that how we treat our LGBTQ youth matters. Whether we are family members, friends or individuals in school systems or healthcare systems, we have an opportunity to make a significant impact on the lives of queer youth. So what can an ally do to support LGBTQ youth?
As a caregiver, be mindful of your reaction.
Having a child come out can be unexpected and many people need time to process the news. Take time to work through it on your own so that your emotions don’t make the issue more about you than it is about them. It can also be helpful to find a mental health therapist that you can trust to work through some of these emotions.
Create a receptive environment.
Coming out takes an enormous amount of courage. It also makes the person coming out feel incredibly vulnerable, and youth may fear losing their relationships in the process. Make it clear that your love for them has not changed. Give them a space to express themselves without judgments or adding your own commentary. Just listen and be a safe space. Understand that coming out is also a process of self-discovery. Allow them room to explore their identities and evolve as a person over time.
Remember that they are still the same person as before.
The only thing that has changed is that you know more of who they are beneath the surface. Try to create a sense of normalcy in the relationship. Offering a stable and consistent relationship is invaluable.
Be an active supporter.
Don’t be afraid to step in and help throughout this process. Many queer youth can benefit from additional resources, clubs and support groups, as well as an understanding mental health therapist. Make it clear in public as well as in private that you stand behind them and will be there to support them.
And what if you’re one of the many queer people out there needing help? What can you do to make a better life for yourself?
Take it a day at a time and reach out for help.
Coming out is an emotional rollercoaster. Everything you’re feeling is normal. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even the painful ones, but also know that they’re not permanent. It’s also a great idea to reach out to a mental health therapist. They are trained to help people going through difficult change.
Figure out who your go-to safe people are and lean on them for support.
Not everyone will be a safe space, but there will certainly be some people who can be counted on to be supportive and compassionate. Figure out who they are and be intentional about connecting with them throughout this process. No one needs to walk this road alone.
Nick Norman, LICSW, is a clinical social worker and the Business Relationship Manager at Mindful Therapy Group (mindfultherapygroup.com), a diverse and collaborative network of licensed, independent mental health clinicians serving Washington and Oregon.
Spot on, thank you for this article. I think this article will improve awareness and provide extra support that is much needed. Every article written reminding LGBTQ individuals that they are loved and not alone is so important. I like that you addressed the different people that might be affected and provided support for these individuals as well. Good thoughts.
As someone who came out at the age of 13, I admire this article. It’s true that individuals in the LGBTQ community or 10 times more likely to have mental health issues. An the risk of substance abuse goes beyond that.